Dear friends,
Some of the most painful moments in life don’t come from what happens to us —
they come from how we speak to ourselves afterward.
That’s why this week’s conversation felt so important.
I sat down with Dr. Kristin Neff, the world’s leading researcher on self-compassion, to explore why so many of us treat ourselves with judgment instead of kindness… and what happens when we finally reverse that habit.
One line she shared stayed with me all day:
“If you are an inner enemy instead of an inner ally, you won’t be as strong, as motivated, or as resilient.”
Kristin explained something I’ve seen in 60 years of clinical practice:
Your nervous system can’t heal when you are attacking yourself.
But it begins to calm the moment you offer warmth, even for 20 seconds.
Self-compassion isn’t pretending everything is fine.
It’s telling yourself, “This is hard — and I’m here for you.”
It’s a small shift with enormous impact.
We talked about:
how the body responds to self-kindness,
why we’re wired to be harsher with ourselves than anyone else,
and how compassion — not self-criticism — builds true resilience.
If you’ve ever struggled with stress, shame, or the feeling that you’re “not enough,”
I think this conversation will speak directly to you.
Golden light,
Dr. Richard L. Miller
Links & Resources:
A Year-End Invitation
As the year comes to a close, I want to make my work a little more accessible for those who may need it most.
For the final months of 2025, I’m opening a limited number of one-on-one sessions at a reduced rate — $350 for 1 hour (regularly $500) and $200 for 30 minutes (regularly $300).
These are not traditional therapy sessions. They’re practical, compassionate conversations where we explore tools to quiet the mind, ease anxiety, and find calm amidst the noise of daily life.
If you’ve been thinking about reaching out, now is a good time.
Let’s take a quiet moment together to reflect, breathe, and reconnect before the new year begins.
1-minute mind control (my latest book)
Traditional mindfulness and meditation techniques often require a huge investment of your most precious resource (time) without guarantees of results.
My own version of mindfulness—what I sometimes refer to as “mind control”—can be mastered in much less time if you commit to regular 60-90 second practice throughout the day.
Breathing. Witnessing. Changing the channel on negative thoughts.
I’ve honed these techniques over a lifetime of personal and professional practice, and now I’m sharing them with the world.
Get my new book Master Your Mind, and as a thank you for your support, I’ll give you a free 30-day subscription to our premium newsletter and exclusive content. Just reply to this email after you buy it to confirm your purchase.
Work with Me
After six decades as a practicing psychotherapist, I'm offering limited opportunities to work directly with me. I bring extensive experience addressing anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship challenges, addiction, and psychedelic integration.
One-to-one sessions - Individual therapy tailored to your specific needs and goals. To request an appointment, book a session here.
Group Therapy (waitlist) - Join a small, curated group dedicated to personal growth. You’ll tap into community support, learn from others’ experiences, and develop practical tools for lasting transformation. Reserve your spot.
Support my work with a founding subscription ($295) and get a complimentary 30-minute consultation, in addition to a hardback copy of Master Your Mind and full access to my premium content. Sign-up here:
My Other Books:
Psychedelic Medicine at the End of Life: Dying Without Fear (release date: November 5)
Freeing Sexuality: Psychologists, Consent Teachers, Polyamory Experts, and Sex Workers Speak Out
Psychedelic Wisdom: The Astonishing Rewards of Mind-Altering Substances
Psychedelic Medicine: The Healing Powers of LSD, MDMA, Psilocybin, and Ayahuasca
Integral Psychedelic Therapy (co-edited with Jason A. Butler & Genesee Herzberg)
