Dear friends,
I grew up in Manhattan. I lived in an eleven story building and rode the elevator every day to school.
In all those years, the people in that elevator never talked to each other. Everybody faced forward. Maybe a small hello. I didn’t know the people living on my own floor.
This is how many of us live now. Close together and completely alone.
This week, I spoke with Dr. Ellen Vora, a psychiatrist in Greenwich Village, about anxiety, grief, and something that stopped me in my tracks.
She and her family live what she calls an urban commune.
Two families, a short walk apart, sharing life together. They take the children to school together. They cook and eat together four nights a week. They shop together. They clean up together.
I asked her what those dinners feel like.
She said, “It’s the best.”
Ellen also shared a practice I’ve been thinking about since our conversation.
She takes thirty seconds, many times a day, to pause and set an intention to be of service. Not asking for something. Just a quiet moment of direction.
Ten times a day.
That’s thousands of moments over time.
A little something over time is a lot of something.
That is the same principle I teach with conscious breathing.
We also talked about anxiety.
She makes a distinction I find very useful. There is false anxiety and there is true anxiety.
False anxiety comes from the body being out of balance. Poor sleep. Blood sugar swings. Inflammation. Too much stimulation.
True anxiety is a signal. It is your system telling you that something in your life needs attention.
Most people treat all anxiety the same. She does not.
She said something simple that stayed with me.
“You’re never stuck. It is not hopeless. Sometimes you need to find a different path.”
In our conversation we explore:
• why anxiety is not a fixed condition
• how the body plays a larger role than most people realize
• the urban commune and what it offers for connection
• small daily practices that change how we feel
• and the importance of staying open to different ways of healing
If there is one thing I would leave you with this week, it is this.
Try one small act of connection.
Call someone. Say hello. Sit quietly for a moment and set an intention.
Connection is medicine.
Golden light,
Dr. Richard L. Miller
About the guest
Dr. Ellen Vora is a board-certified psychiatrist, acupuncturist, and yoga teacher based in Greenwich Village, New York City. She is the author of The Anatomy of Anxiety and her second book, Season of the Witch: A Psychiatrist's Case for Magic, comes out in October 2026.
Links & Resources:
Website: ellenvora.com
Instagram: instagram.com/ellenvora
1-minute mind control
Traditional mindfulness and meditation techniques often require a huge investment of your most precious resource (time) without guarantees of results.
My own version of mindfulness—what I sometimes refer to as “mind control”—can be mastered in much less time if you commit to regular 60-90 second practice throughout the day.
Breathing. Witnessing. Changing the channel on negative thoughts.
I’ve honed these techniques over a lifetime of personal and professional practice, and now I’m sharing them with the world.
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My Other Books:
Freeing Sexuality: Psychologists, Consent Teachers, Polyamory Experts, and Sex Workers Speak Out
Psychedelic Wisdom: The Astonishing Rewards of Mind-Altering Substances
Psychedelic Medicine: The Healing Powers of LSD, MDMA, Psilocybin, and Ayahuasca
Integral Psychedelic Therapy (co-edited with Jason A. Butler & Genesee Herzberg)
