Dear friends,
Every week, I sit down with people researching the parts of human life most of us never talk about.
This conversation was no exception.
I spoke with Dr. Alicia M. Walker, a sociologist at Missouri State University, whose book explores the largest study ever conducted on BDSM. What she found surprised even her:
People involved in BDSM report remarkably high levels of happiness—and not just sexually, but emotionally, socially, and communally.
What struck me most wasn’t the behavior itself, but the psychology around it:
consent, clarity, identity, community, and communication.
These were the ingredients her participants credited for their well-being.
Alicia told me:
“Every single person I interviewed was wildly happy. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
And it wasn’t because of the practices alone.
It was the connection.
The honesty.
The freedom from judgment.
The relief of being seen and understood.
In a culture where loneliness is epidemic, their sense of community was profound—holiday gatherings with 30 to 50 friends, support networks, emotional safety, and a level of clarity in relationships most people never experience.
You don’t have to be interested in BDSM to learn from this work.
Alicia’s research is really about something much deeper:
How honest communication and chosen community can transform a person’s inner life.
If you’re curious about how sexuality, identity, and belonging intersect—or why so many people feel isolated in today’s world—this episode is a thoughtful and eye-opening listen.
Golden light,
Dr. Richard L. Miller
Links & Resources:
Dr. Alicia M. Walker’s Books
A Year-End Invitation
As the year comes to a close, I want to make my work more accessible for those who may need it most.
For the final months of 2025, I’m opening a limited number of one-on-one sessions at a reduced rate — $350 for 1 hour (regularly $500) and $200 for 30 minutes (regularly $300).
These are not traditional therapy sessions. They’re practical, compassionate conversations where we explore tools to quiet the mind, ease anxiety, and find calm amidst the noise of daily life.
If you’ve been thinking about reaching out, now is a good time.
Let’s take a quiet moment together to reflect, breathe, and reconnect before the new year begins.
1-minute mind control (my latest book)
Traditional mindfulness and meditation techniques often require a huge investment of your most precious resource (time) without guarantees of results.
My own version of mindfulness—what I sometimes refer to as “mind control”—can be mastered in much less time if you commit to regular 60-90 second practice throughout the day.
Breathing. Witnessing. Changing the channel on negative thoughts.
I’ve honed these techniques over a lifetime of personal and professional practice, and now I’m sharing them with the world.
Get my new book Master Your Mind, and as a thank you for your support, I’ll give you a free 30-day subscription to our premium newsletter and exclusive content. Just reply to this email after you buy it to confirm your purchase.
Work with Me
After six decades as a practicing psychotherapist, I'm offering limited opportunities to work directly with me. I bring extensive experience addressing anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship challenges, addiction, and psychedelic integration.
One-to-one sessions - Individual therapy tailored to your specific needs and goals. To request an appointment, book a session here.
Group Therapy (waitlist) - Join a small, curated group dedicated to personal growth. You’ll tap into community support, learn from others’ experiences, and develop practical tools for lasting transformation. Reserve your spot.
Support my work with a founding subscription ($295) and get a complimentary 30-minute consultation, in addition to a hardback copy of Master Your Mind and full access to my premium content. Sign-up here:
My Other Books:
Psychedelic Medicine at the End of Life: Dying Without Fear (release date: November 5)
Freeing Sexuality: Psychologists, Consent Teachers, Polyamory Experts, and Sex Workers Speak Out
Psychedelic Wisdom: The Astonishing Rewards of Mind-Altering Substances
Psychedelic Medicine: The Healing Powers of LSD, MDMA, Psilocybin, and Ayahuasca
Integral Psychedelic Therapy (co-edited with Jason A. Butler & Genesee Herzberg)
