Notes from an 87-year-old clinical psychologist
5 ways I work with loneliness in a disconnected world
Dear friends,
At eighty-seven, one of my deepest concerns is this:
Loneliness has become a quiet epidemic.
We live closer together than ever.
We communicate faster than ever.
And yet many people feel alone.
Isolation. Alienation. Disconnection.
These affect the body and the spirit.
What follows is a short do-list.
5 ways I work with loneliness to stay connected and alive.
I make one phone call each week.
No agenda. No request. Just, “I wanted to say hello.”
One call can dissolve a surprising amount of distance.I introduce myself wherever I go.
The person at the market. The pharmacist. A neighbor. “Hi, my name is Richard.”
Names matter. A name exchanged brings two human beings slightly closer.I treat daily life as tribal life.
For many of us, work is where we spend most of our waking hours. Those people are our social circle. When we engage there — when we show warmth there — loneliness shrinks.
I schedule what makes me happy.
I ask myself: What three things truly make me happy?
A cuddle time with my dog. A long conversation with a friend. Listening to music I love.
Then I make sure I do them. Happiness grows when it is acted upon.I remember that connection is medicine.
We are designed for proximity, conversation, shared meals, and shared laughter. Human contact strengthens the nervous system and steadies the mind.
There is something simple underneath all of this:
The difference between doing nothing and taking one small action
is the difference between night and day.
I don’t claim mastery of this.
I practice.
I forget.
I begin again.
This week, make one call.
Introduce yourself once.
Do one thing that brings you genuine happiness.
If you wish, you’re welcome to write back and tell me what you chose.
Golden Light,
Dr. Richard Louis Miller
A note on working together
For those who feel drawn to working together more directly, I offer a limited number of one-on-one conversations.
These are not traditional therapy sessions. They are quiet, practical conversations focused on calming the mind, easing anxiety, and working with simple tools that support steadiness in daily life.
We move at a thoughtful pace. We work with what’s present. We focus on what helps.
If you’d like to learn more about working together one-on-one, you’re welcome to reply to this email and my team will share additional details.
1-minute mind control (my latest book)
Traditional mindfulness and meditation techniques often require a huge investment of your most precious resource (time) without guarantees of results.
My own version of mindfulness—what I sometimes refer to as “mind control”—can be mastered in much less time if you commit to regular 60-90 second practice throughout the day.
Breathing. Witnessing. Changing the channel on negative thoughts.
I’ve honed these techniques over a lifetime of personal and professional practice, and now I’m sharing them with the world.
Get my new book Master Your Mind, and as a thank you for your support, I’ll give you a free 30-day subscription to our premium newsletter and exclusive content. Just reply to this email after you buy it to confirm your purchase.
My Other Books:
Psychedelic Medicine at the End of Life: Dying Without Fear (release date: November 5)
Freeing Sexuality: Psychologists, Consent Teachers, Polyamory Experts, and Sex Workers Speak Out
Psychedelic Wisdom: The Astonishing Rewards of Mind-Altering Substances
Psychedelic Medicine: The Healing Powers of LSD, MDMA, Psilocybin, and Ayahuasca
Integral Psychedelic Therapy (co-edited with Jason A. Butler & Genesee Herzberg)